WASHINGTON (AP) — In a surprise twist to the decade-plus effort to ease access to morning-after pills, the government is lowering the age limit to 15 for one brand — Plan B One-Step — and will let it be sold over the counter.
How to respond when someone says you just dont understand what's going on in my life. When you respond with - tell me more- they pull away and end the conversation
There is no “universally correct” way of responding. To tell the truth, pushing forward when they pull away is like trying to dance with someone who doesn’t want to dance with you. As a therapist, we treat responses like these differently than most people should in day-to-day life because our clients are coming to us to work on their issues. For example, when clients pull this on me I ask more questions about their feeling that I don’t understand or (if I’ve asked a question that they don’t like but that needs an answer for them to move forward) I’ll remain silent until they respond.
When a person abruptly ends a conversation, it can be indicative of many things. It could mean that you somehow “stepped on their toes” by crossing some boundary they have. It could also mean that they are not really ready to deal with the issues that underlie whatever it is that they are going through. It could also mean something else altogether that we don’t know about. The one thing that is probably a given is that they are emotionally distressed in some way and are pulling away to avoid further distress.
In social interactions I’ll usually just give the person their space. I also apologize if I’ve crossed a boundary they would rather I avoid. If they’re ready to deal with it, they’ll eventually come around (usually). On the other hand if they’re the type to avoid problems then that’s their issue to deal with… not mine. However if by them not dealing with the issue they are harming me, then I’ll eventually have to let them know that this is the case and that I’d like for them to deal with it so I’m no longer harmed (but I would only do this for close relationships). Hope this gives you some food for thought.
Hi Roger, How do you know when a marriage is well past saving? Are there signs? I'm asking for your opinion on this as "my friend" occasionally has a good day with her husband, but there are far more bad days and she cannot stand to be around him. Is this a "sign" or a phase?? 15 years married... sorry i promise i read the rules :) ~ Married in WV ~
The “too far gone to save” question doesn’t have a ‘general consensus’ answer among relationship health professionals. The question I like to ask myself is, “can both partners in the relationship go back to seeing each other in a way that they are both okay with?” From what I have seen, some couples can recover from the “it’s almost over” zone while others just don’t have what it takes. Why? Well the “easy” answer is that some couples are made up of individuals who have qualities that make them more likely to do the necessary work to get back on track.
I would guess that one person’s “point of no return” in a relationship is another’s “point where I need to do something about this.” Perhaps your friend should ask herself, “Can I see myself doing the difficult work needed to move this marriage back to a place I’m happy with?” She should also ask, “Can I see my spouse being willing to do that same work?” The answer to those questions may provide some helpful insight as to what her next step will be.
One more thing to bear in mind is that marriages are what they are because BOTH spouses contribute to the atmosphere that make them what they are. That being said, ending the marriage doesn’t necessarily mean that the individual issues that the spouses contributed to the marital atmosphere will disappear. I’ve always felt that the keys to any successful marriage are the ability for both spouses to adjust to their mates’ needs, the ability to respect each other, the ability to truly care about what rents space in their spouses’ heads/hearts, and the humility to put their mates first (just know that this last one MUST be mutual).
I guess this means that those of us in mental health are going to have to pay for more training to unlearn what our past training taught us… all while getting underpaid for an education that costs as much as training for “more financially lucrative” (not that I’m bitter).
Yet another reason why I feel that medications meant to address behavioral concerns should be prescribed only by psychiatrists. As an ADHD sufferer, I can tell you it’s certainly NOT a made up diagnosis.